Ok, here’s the deal, my beautiful bred jersey cow is a bit hormonal, well, temperamental, to say the least. I try and give her the nourishing support that my sweet husband gave me when I was expecting. After all, I do personally know how incredible difficult it is when your pregnant and self conscience about your expanding waist line and your growing backside. So, I tell her she is beautiful and that she’s just all baby. However, despite my kind words and positive reinforcement, her demeanor continues to decline.
Example, this am as I was peacefully walking threw her pasture to get the feeder that she kindly relocated for me, she turns her head, points her horns and charges, as in, charges at me, the one who feeds her, btw. So what does a tough farm girl like me do? Oh I ran like a little girl, jumping over the nearest fence and I’m pretty sure I may have peed my pants, just a little. (Give me a break, I have 3 kids).
So now what? Research shows that cows can understand cause and effect relationships. Well, Jersey is a 1000+ pound fat, I mean, pregnant, cow who now believes she is the Alpha cow all because she made the lil farm girl pee her pants.
Now, when you talk to a old cowboy that has raised several hundred head of cattle his entire life, do you know what he says to do? “Punch it in the face!” What!? Are you kidding me? You want me to punch the pregnant cow in the face? Um, no thank you! Maybe a ole seasoned cowboy can muster up the oysters to do that. But not me, I wear pink boots for goodness sake!
I think for now Jersey Girl and I will just try and civilly talk our way through our relationship problems and then maybe attend some couples counseling.